Friday, May 15, 2009

Graduation, Life, and everything as such

It has been a week since graduation and life still has not set in yet. Perhaps it is the anticipation that I will return back into the whirlwind of an undergraduate where life, despite, having rules and regulations is enriched with just experiences, which makes one more older and mature! Looking back at the four years, I have learned so much both experiences have been sweet or sour. I have learned a lot in these years and come across challenges as well as successes but it all sounds so cliche. Now new opportunities are coming my way, in two weeks, I will be flying to India for two-three months, where majority of time will be dedicated to the internship in Chennai. I know this experience will further mold me into a more learned person, but the sheer mystery of a new city, a new world, new cuisine, new everything is creating fireworks in my mind: how will I survive?What will I do there? To be in a place where people do not even speak the same language as I do. (London was comparatively more easier)! However, this challenge is one I am looking forward to plus I adore India! Despite all the problems it faces, it is my homeland.


So far, this year has been interesting. However, I have never felt more happier and satisfied than in the past few years. I have become confident, vocalized, stronger, and so on thanks to a few people who know who they are, who made me the person I am today. However, I have a lot to learn and perhaps, life will always continue to present me with challenges and perhaps it is as such for everyone like as well. I guess sometimes we forget that everyone is in the same boat as me. Now, I am looking back at these four years and I feel a sense of accomplishment and I feel lost. Perhaps, it will all change when Michigan arrives. Another fear that has been overcoming my days is the sense that I am no longer close to home. Michigan is 12 hours away from here just by driving! Being away from home scares me! It is ironic the more I try to come closer to home, the further I go from it. I am leaving for Michigan tomorrow morning to look for apartments. It truly is a milestone!
This year also took every ounce of sanity I had within me. Though I had 5 classes, I think if I look back, most of it went on spending time with wonderful friends and books, oh believe me, books! books, books, and more books! However, now I am looking forward to fresh reading, writing of poems and perhaps stories, and then finally, one day, I have hopes of publishing a novel! I have some material written from high school, two silly novels entitled "A Love Marriage" 40-page romantic novel probably filled with all the fantasies I had of my then-crush, and another one called "Love At Its Hardest" an attempt to translate a dream I had had way back when, which I think, did not continue because the characters were too strong and began to overpower the story, and thus I stopped writing it. I do intend to resume writing and intend to start publishing within a year.


I think I have a clear idea of what I want out of my life now. I want to gain the doctorate degree in probably Literature, in combination with a Masters in South Asian Studies (India) and Women's Studies and teach at a college level about the Indian culture about women, society, culture, problems, and perhaps inspire students to look into these issues. I do have personal ambitions "a so-called bigger goal" but I feel I will jinx it by publicizing it! I have also changed from whom I was in 2005 versus today! The Nidhi in 2005 probably will not be able to understand that one day she would grow to become confident, indepedent, vocal, and hopeful! She was too lost in her "la-la" land where she believed the world was all beautiful and wonderful. The little glimpse of the "real world" was shown to me in UCONN, when I came across experiences, which were both positive and negative! However, I have no regrets and no anger towards anyone! I am thankful to them, actually, for giving me what they did! Perhaps, I wouldn't have been the same today without them! I learned that your true friends are those who are there for you despite everything you do! I learned that somehow despite so many moves I have been able to gain a fair amount of friends, who are more family less friends! For whom, I would give the world! I also learned that sometimes no matter what you do, you can never please/satisfy the ones who are anti-you (?). I am happy for everyone now and now I follow the policy: Live and Let live. Keeping it short and simple!
Other than that, I have also gained a new interest in shows like Family Guy and American Dad and by pursuing a career in India, I feel that I have been able to balance my identity as an Indian :). I am still patriotic towards India, however, I am thankful for all the experiences I have had and before an Indian, I am a global citizen. I am a citizen of the world and feel that despite everything, all materialistic gains and successes, at the end of the day what matters are the people whom you have around you! And those who have been there for me, THANK YOU! NO matter how much I am grateful to you, I will always be humbled! :)

I will start reviewing novels and movies, both old and new, as they come! I have also begun to resume my excercising and dancing, this year killed all the activeness I had in me (I know I know I have been repeating this phrase but but I cannot help it)! and so far, every day, with the help of one of my best friends, Rajbir, we have been daily working out! I plan to be swimming atleast once a week in Michigan and excercising regularly! :), I DONT WANT TO BE OLDDDDDDD!:(( ! hahahah.....It is ironic when I was young, life just pulled me towards people who were older and made me want to be free of the lifestyle I had...but now, when its time to be old, I want to reverse the days and perhaps take steps I wouldnt have taken back then! I am the most grateful to my parents who have been there for me at each moment! I hope one day I can make the most proud parents! :)

I will also be now maintaing my blogging after being inspired by both Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan because somehow it becomes my dairy! and those who care, will be updated! :)! But I don't expect people to read it! :). I will also review movies I have seen especially of social marks, which has affected me and books, which had cemented my views on life. Sometimes I wonder, I wish, blogging was more interactive. It seems to be always about "me". hahah I have never used so many "I"s as I have done in the mere passages I have written so far! So, those who respond :) and have things to look at and review books and as such, I will be more than happy to do so!

So now, to begin with, I want to share a movie I saw a few weeks ago. It was about the Gujarat Godhra Riots in 2002 and a man's look into the different communities. It is a realistic look and peering into the society, ruined by clashes of communities, which has plagued India for a long long time and I offer those who have watched it an opportunity to discuss the reactions after! If you spare 2 hours of your time to see the evil nature of Human beings. Lets discuss some solutions or something that can be done to prevent the spawning of further hatred! Because it is only humanity, which impacts itself! Can people look beyond race, gender, class, religion and other differences to realize that we are all human beings inside? Can we change ourselves and admit as well as humble ourselves?This movie is a must-watch and is contentious, so I warn you, brace yourself.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3829364588351777769&q=final+solution+india

This movie is entitled "Final Solution" and is made by Rakesh Sharma, a contreversial film maker and is not been made popular in the United States. However, I do warn you. It will be heart-wrenching! And I just want to share it more than anything! And expose the inhumanity and beastiliness hidden in the common man!
And please do tell me what your reaction was to this movie!

6 comments:

  1. nice reading through it.
    straight from the heart? :)

    would love to read the 2 pieces u wrote...u have successfully generated my interest in them :)
    post them/share them if u like...n IF u r not getting them published! :)

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  2. Sure, I would love to share but I warn you, that I wrote those novels when I was 16-17 years old, even younger! Rather than have it published, if you give me your e-mail, i will sent them to you as attachments! :) Thank you! :)

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  3. Publish them here.
    This IS ur space. You are the author,editor, publisher,etc etc :)

    Should be even better, atleast when ppl are younger they could be writing whatever they want to write :)
    You could mail them to bornfreetolivefree@gmail.com but I suggest that u let others read it too unless u feel all 'giggles' about them. lol :)

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  4. as you wish, they will be published here then! Let's see the reaction I recieve because those were written in the most silly manner and have lots and lots of inconsistencies!

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  5. everybody starts somewhere, n then some dont even start...u did... :)

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